Gossip Wiz

Not even the arctic chill of the air conditioner can cool things down at Waverly Place these days with the production office getting this heated. As per Detective Salvo’s orders, the staff has been assigned mandatory questionaires to help get to the crunchy center of this sugar-coated conundrum. Chris Cross and The Hamper have kindly complied with Salvo’s request, sparing no decadent detail on who they believe has a brad box full of stolen snacks.

Chris Cross points fingers at a certain penguin-loving ex co-producer, while the Hamper threatens to fire anyone found with pink-stained chompers.

However, could these threats and accusations actually be attempts to thwart the suspicions elsewhere? To cover up a trail of strawberry flavored bread crumbs leading down the production office hallway? To help this Gossip Wiz and Detective Salvo crack the case of the renegade runts, we can first look at the facts:

Chris Cross may be a selective snacker when it comes to these fruit-shaped treasures, but his loyalties lie with the bananas of the bunch. The Claw was, naturally, our number one suspect, but he’s also a self-proclaimed equal opportunity eater, his motto being “No Runt left behind.” Detective Salvo claims to have “discovered” the ransacked Runt jar, but could she merely be playing innocent to cover her own tracks? And Amy appears to be pleading the 5th for now, but it looks like she’ll be “cough”ing up some information soon.

Hopefully next week will bring a conclusion to this sticky saga and end the pink scare of ‘09. Will Detective Salvo be able to file this case under “S” for solved, or will it sit on the proverbial producer’s desk forever? Stay tuned to Gossip Wiz for your weekly sugar high.

Gossip Wiz is back after a long, much needed Wiz-cation. And you can bet your bottom blogger that I’ve got a gossip scoop bigger than what you added to your banana split last night. You really need to cut back on the dairy, by the way.

Things seemed all quiet on the Wizard front yesterday… security guards chirping, florescent lights shining, a cool 68.5 degree breeze blowing. But lo and behold, something in the kitchen was amiss… A Miss Jill Salvo, who discovered that all the pink, AKA heart-shaped, AKA most delicious Runts had gone missing from the Runt Jar of Waverly place. On a show where magic flows like hummus, disappearing acts can often be abused.

But sure enough, your friendly neighborhood Gossip Wiz is about to crack this strawberry-flavored case wide open and find Salvo salvation so sweet it could give her a cavity. Stay tuned for more Wiz-liscious answers.

After the strange disappearance of producer Julie (last seen driving off into the sunset with a bag of beef jerky and sixteen packages of Urth Cafe coffee), The 26 is starting to bear more resemblance to a bomb shelter than a production office. Are the remaining survivors of the Wizards Purge of ‘09 aware of a threat of nuclear warfare that the rest of us aren’t? This Gossip Wiz will lay the facts out for you and show that the Claw and the Hamper have indeed turned the office into a bomb shelter:

1. It’s silent, dark, and cold despite 90 degree, sunny weather outside, and even the leaves on the lollipop tree have withered and died.
2. The inhabitants refuse to buy or eat anything but non-perishable items, as they’ve taken to stocking the kitchen with runts, skittles, and Nerds ropes, referring to them as “supplies.”
3. The number of remaining occupants is dwindling drastically, and the few that are left occupy their time by sharing stories of the “outside world” and the “good old days,” when visitors used to stop by, phones rang, and mail was received. One survivor vaguely remembers being “part of something bigger” and tells tall tales of a stage and cheering fans and a stout man who called her “baby” and gave her free coffee on Mondays. The rest of the clan believe she suffers from dementia and have silently agreed to eat her first, should the food situation become that dire.
5. They’ve stocked up on clothing and water, and have enough food to feed an army should an actual army need to use their office as a base. Piles of empty water bottles and cardboard boxes fill their shelter; a surefire sign that they haven’t left the base in months.
4. When asked how long they have left in the “office”, the inhabitants respond with an ominous “My days are numbered” or “It’s not up to me” as if they know the end is quickly approaching.
5. The members have begun assembling what appears to be a time capsule on the kitchen wall, filled with ornaments, memorabilia from the past and old photos that are barely recognizable anymore.

Stick with Gossip Wiz to see who will win this deadly game of Production Office survivor.

R & R have certainly been called monsters before, but is this terrible twosome actually thirsty for more than a good deal? Some believe these Wiz-ployees have been luring aspiring actors and actresses with the promise of fame, only to “cast” young hopefuls to their dooms.

When confronted about the excessive amount of auditioners who stop by unannounced and leave looking empty and broken, the leading lady of L&M Casting only commented, “Send all unwanted visitors to Robert. He’ll take care of them.”

Would an appetite for blood explain why R & R are such picky eaters? A reference close to the source verifies she has seen them throwing away plates full of pasta on many occasions, with the complaint that they’re “too garlicky.”

So is Mr.M going to show his fangs anytime soon, or is the Lamb more Ruth-less than she appears? And will your next audition be your last?